Mission Statement and Frequently Asked Questions
Welcome! Things may look a little different from your last visit here. I have recreated Tilneys and Trap-doors as an author's site. I write fiction inspired by Jane Austen's novels as well as "fan fiction" inspired by some other fandoms that I enjoy. I also write the occasional book review and essay. I maintain a pretty complete list of links on the Fiction and Essays pages, and I announce all new publications on my weblog, Sick & Wicked.
I welcome constructive criticism and comments on my writing; contact details are on this page. However, be aware that I set Henry Tilney's Newfoundland puppy on trolls (and a large and drooly pooch he is; you've been warned). I reserve the right to publish and mock abusive, illiterate, or otherwise amusing e-mails.
Incidentally, I don't mind if readers print out copies of the stories and articles for their personal perusal, or even download them to their own computer, but I would prefer that you didn't distribute hard copies or send files to others without asking me first. Just drop me a line and I'll let you know if it's okay.
Frequently Asked Questions
I don't understand your URL/the name of this site. The Tilney part I get, but what's with the sandtrap?
Or, conversely:
I don't understand your URL/the name of this site. I know what a trap-door is, but what the hell's a Tilney?
From Northanger Abbey, Chapter XI:
"Thorpe talked to his horse, and she meditated, by turns, on broken promises and broken arches, phaetons and false hangings, Tilneys and trap-doors."
From the short story "The Janeites" by Rudyard Kipling, about a group of British soldiers in World War I who were fans of Jane Austen:
"...So for one pound, he communicated me the Pass-word of the First Degree which was Tilniz an' trap-doors.
"'I know what a trap-door is,' I says to 'em, 'but what in 'ell's Tilniz?'"
Tilney = Henry Tilney, hero of Northanger Abbey, Da Man, he of the greatcoats, guns, and devastating wit; my ideal. *swoon-snerk-thud*
Tilneys and Trap-doors = Used in the Janeite sense of the phrase; that is, stuff I think about, write about, &c.
I originally used the phrase for an e-mail address in an attempt to be literary; unfortunately I just seem to have confused everybody! However, it has become a trademark of sorts.
I liked the old site. What happened to it?
Thanks, I liked it, too. That's why I haven't changed it that much (same background, etc.) I worked hard on that design and was very proud of it. Unfortunately, not long after I unveiled it, an Individual who shall remain nameless redid her Jane Austen website in very much the same style--but badly. The copying wasn't bad enough, but it wasn't even a GOOD copy!
I know imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and I am fairly certain that the Individual in question did not mean any harm, but it was still infuriating. I worked very hard to make my site original and special. I said nothing about this, but next time I shall not exercise such forbearance. In case you were wondering, that was a warning.
What's with the pink and the roses?
I like pink, and I like roses. You think the website's bad, you oughta see my apartment!
What happened to the print-friendly versions of the stories?
Guess what? You don't need them anymore! Just print the story page. It should *cough* print out minus the header image and menu. The fancy font titles will still be there, however; and yes, you have to print out each chapter individually. Take heart from the idea that this means less maintenance for me, and less website maintenance = more time to write new stories! Note: If you have a really old browser, it might not work.
What happened to the lame drawing of Jane Austen typing on a laptop?
I dispensed with the image map concept as part of my redesign; art classes everywhere breathe a sigh of relief and underline the word "perspective" several times with dark pencil. If you really want to see the (exceedingly lame) drawing, there is a small version of it here. I have a scan of the full drawing on a diskette somewhere but I can't find it. When I get a chance to rescan it, I will post it.
Where is the Interview With the High Priestess?!?
Right here. I decided not to officially include it in the new site, but I know people got a kick out of it. It's also a nice visit if you're feeling nostalgic for the "old" site.
Can you tell me where I might purchase the book The Confession of Fitzwilliam Darcy by Mary Street?
Amazon listing; several listings at Amazon UK. It looks like the authoress might have got back her rights and self-published (her publisher must have tired of the letter-writing campaigns from Darcy fangirls). We suggest you look into this inexpensive paperback version. P.S. I don't know if it's worth the effort. It is a very nice book (sorry, Henry) but it's hardly the Holy Grail of Jane Austen paraliterature that it is made out to be. But then I'm not your average panting Darcy fangirl, so take that into account.
How did you get so cool?
My dear acolyte, High Priestesses are cool by definition.
Seriously (or as serious as I ever get), I am glad you enjoy the site and appreciate my strange sense of humor. Not everyone does.